Realisation Hard to Swallow Part 4

                                                   Realisation

                                         Hard to Swallow Part 4 

I've looked at how animals and people carry drinks over the years and in some cultures a chain around the neck has been the way to go.

Those of a certain vintage would recall the 'King' Graham Kennedy (IMT days) starring in the now Australian classic film 'Don's Party'. If you check it out you'll see he has a chain around his neck with a beer stein attached.

Legend has it that St.Bernards carried wine and/or brandy in barrels around their necks to help warm victims of avalanches until help arrived, though that is more a myth.

In the maze of being in night clubs in past years I recall women having 'mardi gras' drink holders around their necks, very hard to get close to on a dance floor. Though the music that played where I was, was not cheek to cheek, that came after, they still might be available now. Anyway you get the picture.

So for two days every fortnight for a least the next 14 weeks I wear a bottle full of my cancer drugs that is connected to my chest portacath that pumps the 'cure' into my body. Great for going out shopping and day trips, I seem to always have space to move, people are so kind. Mine is for life.

Oh on the other day of the fortnightly ritual I sit in a very comfortable arm chair that lifts my feet and adjusts to my back at the touch of a button whilst my drug ordered regimen in a bag beside me pumps the first lot into me. Such glee. 

You're right. I'm cynical and I'm angry, the 'whiz' kids have told me 'oh Charles, this insideous disease has been in your body for months, many months maybe even for a year or more and your at Stage 4'.

How the hell do previous scans, xrays, pathology tests I've had over that time did not show any remnants or particles of the tumour that now riddle my liver that started in my oesophagus and likely elsewhere as we speak survive and prosper, though that is not confirmed or outruled for another six weeks when next PET Scans are done to see what the chemo has contained or shrunk.

Anyway it is what it is, Que Sera Sera.

So the fight is on in earnest now, cells jousting, side effects evident and likely to expand with further infusions. That's ok, I remain positive and I believe in the course I'm on will lead to a winning outcome of some sought. It's really early days with the chemo, body is in good shape and I've an army of support that in all honesty I'm staggered by and cherish..

Monica and I are working through a diet that allows me to swallow foods that are essential and some that I love that I can still handle in some form or another. You see I can't walk through a shopping centre and go wow I'm hungry I'll grab some sushi, some chinese, a pizza, a chicken whatever or a pita pocket salad roll because of the difficulty I have in swallowing. If I was to sit and try to eat any of those foods it would be a disaster.

So what is being positive about..? For starters it's about believing in yourself, trusting what your body can do and being a bit gentle on yourself, Planning things as you would normally do. December now is booked, Monica and I are taking Christmas to Christof at Colac we've got some great gifts for him and we'll take whatever it takes to ensure his comfort and joy (and ours).

My Collingwood membership arrived today with all the trimmings, so the fixture is on the fridge and games selected, all of them if I can. My mate Ross has Boxing Day tickets to the cricket ready for me and I really want to go, it's about how I'm traveling at the time, we'll find a way.

Music, well that's a constant, my son (Leon) and my friends share so much of what they play and have, it's never ending, aways exploring, ever tasting and challenging the boundaries where you find it.

One of my music loves is following the site Right Here:The Go Betweens Appreciation Society, such wonderful people on line that makes you believe there is hope in the world after all. Robert Forster is traveling the States, Great Britain and Europe just now gaining all the accolades he and the band have deserved and earned over now 40 years.

We are coming up to the weekend when 20 years ago my brother (Bob) past away, 1999, still fairly clear to me the occurrences of that weekend, I wrote a blog about him in March 2018, it's called  Bob Coy Lorne Artist 'Motion in the Ocean , Breeze in the Trees', you can find it easily at acoyview.blogspot.com worth a peek.

Yesterday my oncologist was happy with my demeanour, noted my positive outlook, we go to the next infusion 4 December so we get the body in shape and be ready for whatever side effects want to come at me.

Keep safe, enjoy the season, one of my brother's mates whom I'm lucky still to have in my life, who himself is a brilliant singer songwriter and guitarist/musician said these little prophecies to me the other day, they read:
'Keep your sense of Humour'
'Have no restrictions'
'Drop off the baggage'
'Drop Guilt'
'Don't be intimidated' and 'Do what you do and do it well'...

See you at Part 5 ...

Much Love
Charles...

Part 3 Hard to Swallow

                                                  My Current Health Part 3 

14 November 2019: Ok so Dr Benjamin Markman was not the 'white knight' I was hoping for, however on quizzing my son Leon on what a third or fourth in line to a white knight would look like, he said he seems like he is a Knight Errant.

There are a number of definitions you can place on a Knight Errant's head, I like the ones that liken him to a traveller, roaming the land doing brave things and helping people who are in trouble. Searching evil to slay, skillfull and adventureous.

In essence the story of the cancer and it's impact has not changed much, though this time it was mapped out when the chemo would start and how it was likely to be administered. The elephant in the room was time, Dr Benjamin responded with "Charles, I can tell you about averages and I can put you in that space, however right now we don't know what the long term effect of the treatment (chemo) is going to have on you, you create your own number".

I liked that, I said keep on searching Dr for your record and history shows you are up for reviewing clinical trials and seeing how they can be administered, so here I am, he smiled, maybe smirked, I continued my quizzing look.

Monica and I left the clinic with a wad of information about the side effects of the chemo that range in major and less major symptoms that in essence are too many to mention here.

Next Tuesday I have the 'portacath' fitted ready for the flow of fight again on Wednesday 20 November and Friday 22 November.

Yoga, Podcasts, Music, our Garden (Monica's really) and my army of family and friends push my spirits higher and provide strength to go at 'Carlton' with a positive mindset.

I love my food, but swallowing is difficult right now..

We are managing by building a diet that firstly, allows me to swallow with less difficulty, that carry all the nutrients and protiens I need with some variety.

I've moments where I forget to chew a piece of food 50 times or so and swallow and the oesophagus tail end jams up. You get a bit disorientated become anxious, stressed and sometimes panic a bit. So I bang my foot on the floor, swear a bit, try to swallow water or a little milk and finally once breathing is right the digest is completed. I'm keeping positive that the chemo blasts will reduce the tumour and clear the way for easier swallowing.

I'll work through the side effects and stand up and deal with those that linger, choice, I have none.

The weekend just gone Monica and I headed off to Seymour for the annual Rotary Club of Frankston getaway, it was fantastic to be among the friends/members enjoying fellowship, mateship and good fun.

Our cabin by the Goulburn River was cosy and warm as was every aspect of the weekend. Monica won the Backgammon in the cabin comp, led Yoga classes for the two mornings we were there with other yogies looking to have a great kick start to their day. It worked.

Our cat Shine, took a break staying with our neighbors eating poached chicken and occasionally crossing the road and sleeping at home. Thanks Jenny and Stefan.

This week the program commenced at Frankston Hospital in the Intergrated Care Centre, a three and a half hour session, briefing, testing, blood tests/counts and injections. The nurses are superb, knowledgable, experienced, caring and when necessary brutal. All grounds covered nothing left to chance.

The walk through the rooms saw people of all ages and sizes dealing with this insideous disease, they seem to take it on the chin, friendly, but with hidden anxiety knowing there are a million places they'd rather be. I wanted to be in the UK, Amsterdam or even back at the MCG or in a theatre somewhere or just home getting ready for a swim.

So next week looms huge with the treatment stepping up, in the meantime I've a years reading in all the booklets, printouts and instructions that are going to command my life for a while. So its study time, though this time its to study how to succeed through all this, remaining positive and valuing every moment added.

I question why and how did all this happen, there is no answer it just did, so I'll just fight it in every way I can.

Part 4 will reveal progress, I look forward to relating that and also having you join in on this journey so I can share the experience and off load in this forum, it helps so much.

I'm currently taken by lyrics to a song I've found through my favourite site (Right Here:The Go-Betweens Appreciation Society) one of our members noted a band called 'Theartre Royal' and a song called 'Incidental Friend'. The verse that got me follows:

'Ive stared in the eyes of the Beast
I've sailed round the edge of the world
I laid on my back on my bed
and dreamt of the places we'd go'

We'll talk some more soon.

Charles.










 

Hard to Swallow Part 2

                                   

                                         My Current Health Story Part 2.

31 October - Its been a tough couple of days as we get ready for my meeting with the surgeon today  to discuss next steps in what we need to do to rid of this cancer that's unwelcome and life threatening. It's strange really in the garden yesterday sweeping, watering and generally cleaning up my sweat smelt like the 'shit' thats in my body.

4 November - The meeting was at 3pm (31 October), the location was Mt Waverley, Monica was leaving work at 1.30pm and I was driving to Syndal Station from Seaford to meet her just after 2pm. 

Syndal Station, wow, 3 storey car park, parking surrounds filled, heavy traffic, heavily populated and preferred suburbs and surrounds for many. That's fine but for me I need to be near the beach, I'm a cancerian, how bizarre. I'm there at 2pm found a parking spot to wait for Monica. I'm a little upbeat knowing yes this is cancer and it's real but I'm sure the surgeon can dig some if not all of it out.

Monica arrives 3-4 minutes later and we have a coffee, a chat of expectation and head down to the clinic.

Into the waiting room, more forms and after a wait of 15 minutes or so the call comes, Charles Coy, yep that's me again, so down a short corridor we go into a very clinical surgeon's room.

I pull out my brief and page of 24 questions and are asked some preliminary information of when I first experienced the difficulty of swallowing. So I chatted on like scared parrot, babbling to the point where I could see this surgeon staring out the window and had other people to see and wanted to tell me my fate as he saw it.

He doesn't barrack for Collingwood and probably thinks the MCG is another clinic somewhere in Melbourne and really needed to move to his next appointment where the waiting room was overflowing with those clinging onto hope from his call on their situation for now and in the future.

So I asked the question what Stage are we at?  Stage 4 without any hesitation came the damning response, Monica said she physically saw my heart drop to the floor and not bounce back. His script read the Primary source (oesophageal cancer) had sent tumors to my liver that are too many spread far and wide for surgery to be effective. He did say that the cancer had been evident for many months and had been deceptive and hid at times from previous scans and xrays I'd had for pneumonia and purpura. That was a little hard to take.

At least and I say with some hope not despair that it's progressing slowly, but really who knows.

He had no futher answers, there was to be no surgery, he referred me to my new oncologist, identifying PET Scans and Chemo as the next steps. Thanks, the questions I had were not for him, unlikely he could answer them anyway, sure he showed me a video of the CT Scan and markings on my liver to confirm what he delivered to me, really that's all he had, so we left.

We hit the Monash 4pm traffic, what a mess that is, though it didn't really matter,the shock was till in the air, in my head and in my body and now in our car.

We were home at around 5pm and without much hestation strolled to the beach, sat on the bench,  maybe not stunned, but silent, aware though of what we had been told.

It was a difficult night, we didn't sleep we just lay there and came up with words to try and express how we felt. Some, likely most you can imagine, so there is no real need to repeat them here.

Friday arrived and I wanted to get on the front foot, the unsurity this thing completely obliterating me is the true heartache, the despair at night and all the little things that happen in your body you are just so aware of, like never before. Every moment counts to when the treatment starts.

I rang the office of my new oncologist and they had not yet received my file, however saw my name on a list and were able to book me in for Wednesday 6 November. They were receptive and so helpful and understanding, my anxiety was peaking, putting normal clear thinking at a distance they told me Dr Benjamin Markman was my appointed, I googled him. He seems the perfect fit, he has a history of being aware of new trials, new procedures and I believe has recently returned from Sweden being informed of the latest methods in dealing with the cancer I have.

Over to you Ben, see you on Wednesday, help me extend and do the things I love doing, mainly living.

The weekend just past held no new revelations, just further realisation of what we are dealing with, accepting (though I never will) what is ahead of us, learning to deal with my anxiety and getting on with life as we normally do.

I'm so lucky Monica is a Yoga teacher, we've done a series of sessions that have helped me deal with my emotions, loosen up a stiff neck and keep my body agile. Along the way in particular with the well-being aspect we discussed getting to know this person called cancer that's disrupting and threatening me. So we needed to find a name, we initially had the 'Colonel' but for some reason Ive settled on calling it 'Carlton'.

A nemisis in football terms to my side, but because of that respect comes into play, competition is healthy. I'm competing against it so I need to understand it, talk to it so maybe we can come to an agreemeny,in my favour. I know this seems odd, perhaps ridiculous to some, but this is so fresh, so damning, breeding despair I'll look for and consider anyway to deal with this better.

Today I called the Cancer Council, spoke with a cancer nurse, so understanding, so helpful, gave me information including a link to a booklet on my cancer diagnosis.

They also advised me of links to some worthwhile podcasts, Monica had already suggested this last evening so it was high on our to do list, just learning of the experiences of others and the support mechanisms they used, so all information helps. I guess I just needed some calm voices to understand how they dealt with the intial shock of discovering cancer in your body.

So I got out my Bluetooth Headset (thank you Astrid) charged it up and away I went, the podcasts were really helpful. Just people who were as shocked and anxietous as I am, how they dealt with it and outside of family and friends identified support groups that are out there that are really so close and willing to offer any assistance to ease the moment and calm the mind for what's next.

Whilst writing this blog today, I received a call and email advising met on Friday morning at 7.30am my PET Scans begin, they are done over some 3 hours, so I would think I would of been explored enough by then to establish how much chemo I'm going to have.

This week is filled with hope, the unexpected and on some days high anxiety where I need to train my mind better to have control over what may feed 'Carlton' to power more damage. 

Part 3 will tell us more about where we are at, looking forward to seeing Dr Ben go to work.

I'm a bit calmer today, nights are tough, don't know what happens when I eventually go to sleep. I'll get better at that, I need to.

'Out in the summer rain we will begin again...'

Charles











       

 



   

Hard to Swallow

   
                                       My Current Health Story -Part 1

Dateline- From early September 2019

29 October 2019 : Let's go back 6-7 weeks ago when I found any food I was eating was going down ok until it reached the gateway into my stomach. It seemed to digest very slowly, mounting up, not choking me, however being really uncomfortable to bear. I was not alarmed, thinking reflux or a temporary symptom of acid build up that would soon disappear.

It (the food) would eventually complete it's mission and collapse into my stomach, encouraged by water or any fluid within reach. I'd mentioned it to my Hematologist, I'm dealing with an Immune sytem matter called Immune Purpura, so it was a side issue that still did not seem important or a serious health risk at that time. We thought it might of been a result of the tablets/steroids I was taking to boost and maintain my platelet levels.

So we moved on, however the symptoms would not dissipate so I went to my family Doctor here in Seaford and told him about my swallowing food difficulties.He didn't hold back and immediately organised a referral for a Gastroscopy at Direct Endoscopy (D.E) in Frankston.

However my platelets were not quite at the number to ensure that there would be no internal bleed with the camera down my throat and the depths of my oesophagus. So a fortnight went by now back on the steroids until they (the platelets) reached an acceptable level agreed to by my Hematologist.

So I was ready and last Wednesday 23 October I went to D.E in Frankston. The time for the procedure was mid afternoon I'd done my fasting and I was thirsty but ok, just a bit apprehensive. I checked in and sat in the waiting room among people of all ages all sizes all with differing ailments. It was a darkish room where there was always people moving about doctors and anaesthetists, receptionists taking an extraordinary amount of calls and a front desk checking in patients to fill out forms that tell their story, I was now one of those.

A doctor entered the waiting room and said "Charles' so as no-one else moved I knew it was my time. I was ushered into a room met the Camera Doctor and the anaesthetists and walked into the 'procedure' room and rolled onto the hospital bed and told to lay on my left side and bring my knees to my chest.

The nurse stuck a rubber cylinder into my mouth and the anesthetist and I started talking football, nerves I guess.

He is a Western Bulldogs supporter and did not want to tell the doctor I followed Collingwood, wonder why?.. He was talking about the value of getting Bruce from StKilda I said Schache was going to be a great asset after another preseason and that 3 tall's are a crowd up forward we disagreed... I woke up 24 minutes later.

Glass of water, cup of tea and 2 biscuits later my stay in the procedure room was over. I was asked to wait in the Doctors room for the Gastroscopy results.

The diagnosis was described as an 'irregular' growth at the base of the oesophagus at the point of entry into the stomach. I was booked immediately for a CT Scan the next day Thursday 24 October.

The procedure included several biopsy's that would take a week to determine just what the growth represented.

Being a numbers man I asked the doctor was it a 70% chance of a cancer he agreed but upped it by 10%.  Upon leaving I was given two letters one for a Surgeon in Mt Waverley whom I booked to see Thursday 31 October.

I was also perscibed a tablet that may help my digestion, it gave me some hope. For the record I can eat a lot more normally since taking it. However it's another tablet I take to start my day, hate them.

I was a bit shaky after that and thought about all the years I'd been bullet proof, no more. I will say that antibiotics and there continual use weaken your immune system quite significantly, I link to a degree to what has happened with my Purpura and now 'irregular' growth at the base of my oesophagus to being hit with two bouts of pneumonia over a six month period that broke down my barriers in July 2018 and January 2019.

Thursday 24 October, time for the CT Scan, up to Frankston Private I go. Bit more light in this waiting room, some sad faces and some on their phones, no kids running about.

More forms and sign to accept any reactions good or bad for the liquid they'll pump into me I accept as normal and there is no shared responsibility for any dehabilitating aftermath. .

So I'm quickly called up and down the corridor I go and into the room where the uninviting donut shaped machine with a short tunnel in the centre sits.

Without the machine in use you can feel the x-ray tube power and x-ray detectors buzzing, infiltrating around you.

I'm told to drop my pants to my knees lay on the narrow table that slides in and out and under the tunnel, Oh they placed a white towel around the top of my quads.

I accept what is ahead and give the operator the all clear. She plugs me with a liquid that will show up any defects in my system, honing in on any acute and/or chronic changes in my system, next to crutch.

She says it will give you a warm feeling in your head and your body, did it ever, you could have cooked bacon on my head and boiled an egg with my spittal ( I know that sounds disgusting, but hey it's real).

Take a deep breath a recorded voice yells from above me and I gulp and comply, now breathe comes the next instruction, you bet I will. I'm honestly unsure how many slides in and out I had but I do recall doing as I'm told by the deep voice beaming at me at least 3-4 times.

It stopped, Relieved I got my senses back and stood up and re dressed myself, thanked everyone and left. Upon paying and leaving reception the receptionist said the CT Scan results will be sent to all the Doctors I'd noted.

I left, I was driven home by my Rotarian friend and Welfare Director Marie, I was again shaky, this time bilious and filled with anxiety but got home and fell on my bed, feeling relieved, headachy and all over weakened. Just not used to this I guess.

The days and weekend that followed brought moments of uncertainty, apprehension, unbalance and some concerns about the future. Never in my life had this feeling ever been on my what's next list.

Monica and I did housework on the cold, wet and windy Saturday, well I did some, and got up about as best I could on Sunday with ride around the new track that stems from the new Hybrid Sky rail in Seaford and followed it back into Frankston, got back as the rains came.

We come to today, the first day of this blog and the results that came my way.

My Hematologist is at Peninsula Private every Tuesday, I knew I had to inform her about the Gastroscopy and CT Scans. I called and spoke to reception (Lana or Jo, doesnt matter whom they both know me now) with Dr Kay in they would pass on the message and obtain the results of the Biopsy (rememember I'm not due to be told until Thursday 31 October) but they obviously need to know, Reason being the information of my current immune attack needs to be passed onto the surgeon I'm with on Thursday.

About an hour later I got the call, the biopsy shows I have oesophageal cancer-adenocarcinoma.

The surgeon on Thursday will have many questions from me as we prepare to do whatever it takes pending what stage I'm at for what lays ahead.

Part 2 will reveal some more, me, I've had my emotions explode today, my armour is weakened but not my will.

Out in the summer rain, we will meet again....

Charles...



     


















                          

                                                         Music, what draws me in -part 2
                                                              

Well some friends and family queued up on me and said I was stuck in the 80's with my first music blog. The Bands and Artists I wrote about were my influences in life, hair and dance that set me on the path to continue to search and discover others that did the same. This one is about those that mirror that sound and mood at this time, likely forever. 

Ok, so who is new and who has continued to produce 'new romantic, jangly pop, alternative rock, Folk pop and indie rock' at such quality as was then, but now, perhaps even better. 

So new artists that I've discovered join in along with those who have repeated their skills as a solo artist, in other bands or their original bands. I'll also stay with those who have maintained their ability to craft songs filled with heartwarming and inspirational experiences with melodies and lyrics to match.

I'll start with 'Cigarettes After Sex', the band was formed in 2008 in Texas, however did not debut releases until 2012. Ambient Pop is the label given to their music, I call it mood, Sunday Morning, late dinners, best company music to chat by or just 'kicking back'on a rainy day.  

Love this band's music, first heard it in the early episodes of the confronting 'The Handmaid's Tale', been hooked since.

'Nothing's Gonna to Hurt You Baby' will get you started, brilliant vocals, expressive, appealing with rich tone, the lyrics drew me in.

'When we dance in my living room, To that silly 90's R&B, When we have a drink or three, Always ends in a hazy shower scene'


'K' for Kristen such a distinctive song, carries a subtle cry of love to be revisited. 

                                                                                                                             

 

'I remember when I first noticed that you liked me back,
We were sitting down in a restaurant waiting for the check, We had made love earlier that day with no strings attached, But I could tell that something had changed how you looked at me then'

Those who remember the film 'Lost in Translation' will note the Band has used some edits for a video of 'Nothing's Gonna to Hurt You Baby', embracing a memoir, we all have them. 

Amanda Brown- How do you define a person who is a master of their craft?. For me it's easy really. A moment to review her Bio will confirm her ability as a composer and musician. 

Violin, Oboe, keyboards, guitar and vocals paved the way for Amanda to be in many bands, the best of all being the Go-Betweens (bias, would I be?). She has composed film soundtracks Look Both Ways', 'Son Of a Lion',among others,is a gifted songwriter and helps educate budding musicians.

One of the albums I play regularly is 'Incognita'. It was also a play that I was fortunate to see some years ago at the Birrarung marr in Melbourne by the Yarra.

"Stay with me, We can always be, alone in the night, like a whisper no one can hear'....

Don't believe this lyric needs much explaining if you have ever found love. 

Her work with Lindy Morrison (OAM, drummer with the Go-Betweens, her Bio is also staggering) in Cleopatra Wong, makes it easy to say 'Thank You'.

New Horizon's, new talent.



 Alex the Astronaut- What a talent this young woman is. Just gathering more tracks from her for my collection. 

Listen to 'Already Home', 'Not Worth Hiding' and 'I believe in Music' and 'To whom it may Concern' to get you started.

The next thing you'll want to find out is where is she playing next.

Mini anthems, Paul Kelly like, thinking Susan Vega, female Stone Roses maybe the Verve, but really its Alex Lynn, Alex the Astronaut.

'Already Home' stunning track... 

'I remember on Christmas Eve My uncle brought his guitar and he Showed me how to play David Bowie's Space Oddity I played until my fingers bled My mum sent me off to bed The next day Santa brought me my own guitar'  

I'm glad he did.

So now to the Glaswegians.

Belle & Sebastian-  They debuted in the mid 90's and have recorded some brilliant albums. They're again touring Australia in May this year so I'll certainly front up for another dose.

For those who are curious about this band I suggest you start with 'The Life Pursuit', follow up with 'Dear Catastophe Waitress' and 'Write About Love'. The 2014 album 'Girls in Peacetime Want to Dance' has some of the most poignant lyrics, delivered in melodies and chord progressions that earmark the brilliant musicianship of this band.

'We are out of practice, we're of of sight, on the edge of Noboby's Empire, if we live by books and we live by hope, does that make us targets for gunfire..?'   

Wake up call for different parts of the world, maybe even here. 

Longevity. 

British Sea Power- Albums 'Open Season' and 'Do you like Rock Music' are standouts. It's what I call 'Salty Rock' with themes of historic events conjured up for the listener. Songs that reflect as meaningfully like the moon does on a silent calm sea. 

There is a track on 'DYLRM' called 'Open the Door' with a lyric 'Five young men went for a walk, sat on a tree stump and had a talk, it takes something to be a man these days, nobody cares but everyone's caring, ah these days, are we almost there?' 

How are you going to live is what is asks, live in hope to find and nurture that 'something'. Well, my take.

No trickery to this band, lots of different wind, keyboard and percussion oddities, with guitars that drive the sound to a stadium feel. Love the defining bass licks.

Adele and Glenn- 'Carrington 
Street'.
Both these musician/songwriters have an appeal, jangly pop, art rock, or for me just simply writers and singers of songs that carry stories of life that express feelings and dreams we all have at some point in time.

Hence the vocals are expressive, mixed with engaging arrangements where the drawcard is originality. 

Not surprising when you consider Glenn Thompson's CV. 'The Titanics', 'Beachfield', 'The Answers' and the reformed 'Custard' are to name some of his bands. In 1999/2000 Glenn became the drummer of the reformed Go-Betweens (2000-2006), having spent parts of the prior decade working/playing on the solo albums for Robert Forster and Grant McLennan (1958-2006).

Just on Beachfield, on the album 'Brighton Bothways' there is a song called Wintertime Again, whilst in my world it's Autumn just now, love the lyric line about putting the leaves back on the tree.    

Adele Pickvance was also in the reformed Go-Betweens playing bass and singing backing vocals and harmonies. 

'The Dave Graney Show', collaborations with Billy Miller from the Ferrets, 'Far Out Corporation' and the 'Mumps' along with working on solo albums of both Robert Forster and Grant McLennan reflect her talent as a musician/singer/songwriter.

Find 'I Dreamt I Was a Sparrow', the rest will follow. 

One of the Bands that continue to produce are 'The Waterboys'. I suspect many will recall the epic, uplifting, storming 'Whole of the Moon'.

An album released in 2011 was called 'An Appointment with Mr Yeats' where W.B. Yeats lyrics were adapted to song by Mike Scott.  

There is a song called 'White Birds', it's a stirring melody, with the sound of white birds in the fade out that caresses your senses and guides you to revisit the coast, no matter what the season.     





Till the next bunch of music revelations,be tempted to listen and enjoy today and the next there after.

Cheers

Charles.  

                                                             Bob Coy Lorne Artist 

                                                'Motion of the Ocean, Breeze in the Trees'

Lorne in the late 60's early 70's compared to 2018 was a vastly different place, some cafes (the 'Arab' was the favourite), the original Erskine House and Cumberland Guest House, a theatre, a fish and chip shop, newsagent, an art gallery, chemist and the two Hotels were virtually all that filled the main street. Though the beach front (Loutitt Bay) has faced little change, the wandering, alluring Erskine River still flows, the Otway Ranges now likely filled with more homes and B&B's oversees the locals and holiday makers with dignity, the gatekeeper to the Great Ocean Road.

So in 2018 Mountjoy Parade is now filled with boutique shops, street cafes, restaurants and other retail friendly outlets with the Pacific and Lorne Hotels still the heartbeat. The Falls Music Festival brings International artists to the Lorne Coast at the turn of the each New Year adding to the attractions of what's on offer, not forgetting the world's longest ocean swimming race, the Pier to Pub.

Aireys' Lighthouse.

My brother Bob Coy (Robert Julian Coy) was 23 when he moved to Lorne in 1971. He had just sold a business he commenced in 1968 called Surf Dive 'n Ski. (his Branding Font remains the same today as it was 47 years ago). He sold the Business to move to Lorne arguably, the surfing capital of the West Coast then, likely still is. Bob was a surfer, an artist, a musician and a graphic designer. He'd been surfing the west coast since 1964.

Bob lived in Hopetoun Terrace till he past away in 1999.

Bob's oil paintings recall the beauty and wonder of the Lorne Coast with the intrigue and sun light of the inner forests that are the the Otways. At sometime in 1974 a 'minder' for Prince Charles returned to Geelong on a mission to seek out art works of the Great Ocean Road. Originally a member of Prince Charles security team when the Prince was at
Timbertop,  he discovered my brother in Lorne.

Today in Westminster Abbey his oil painting of 'Eagle on the Mount' adorns the walls at the Abbey, a stark reminder of the talent Bob possessed. For those who are visiting Lorne a walk up Mountjoy Parade to the Pacific Hotel and into the foyer you will see a mural that covers an entire wall that depicts the surf beach at Lorne. It captures the spirit of the ocean playground, illustrating all the fun and colourscape that draws so many to this beautiful coastal town.

Bob's was also a talented musician, guitar, keyboards, drums and a blues singer, his last band I recall was 'SilverHair', I still have a tape recorded in 1996.
His artwork lives in the homes of family and friends and those of the many  bought from local Galleries or were contracted for particular scenes of Oceania, Landscapes and Portraits, west coast and nation wide..

'A ol' Buick abandoned
found in the Otways'

I'm lured to a book written by Ian C.Hunt titled 'Feel the Sea Wind' where Bob's etchings of the early Guest Houses in and around Lorne are featured.

There are over twenty guest houses that existed in the early 1900's that were 'inked' by Bob, they were done at a time when an infected hand hospitalised him. They remain a wonderful capture of the elegance that existed for wealthier holiday makers back then, who travelled to Lorne in the first cars and horse drawn carriages.

So why this blog ?, why now ?.

There is a story to be told and that's my goal, I'm writing a book about my brother, a Lorne resident for twenty eight years. His artwork lives, breathes and shines inside me everyday. Its been brewing for many years and now for family, his many friends (some that I remain in contact with - love social media) it needs to be recorded and published.
                                                                                                                              Mt Warning NNSW
                                                                                                                               Bob's work 1989
I have in my possession and really only on loan, many of Bob's art pieces, memorabilia, poems, song lyrics and a story line that will enhance his legacy. In essence the folk of Lorne need to be reminded of Bob's time there with works that will live well beyond my time.

Perhaps some long term residents of Lorne will recall my brother as I do and have a story to tell, that in turn may be the part that attracts a publisher who holds the same enthusiasm as I do.

I've included Bob's oil painting of Mt Warning, done in an afternoon in summer 1989 by the Tweed River. Both of us just sat there, maybe he still visits there, I do, though his heart, soul and son were always in Lorne.

Book to come, a table top coffee book sprinkled with photos of Bob' work or something else, I'll know when I stop writing.

Bob's glow still shines.




Cheers
Charles.

Yours and my Music tastes- What draws you in...?

                                                           Whats in Your Music Box

What draws you in?

Is it the intro to the song, the melody, the chorus, the lyrics,the Band or Singer?

It's something that has been asked of me many times, how do I explain what I love when not much of it sits high in commercial acceptance or sales for that matter?  

The answer for me rests with what's in my heart, my emotions, where a lyric line combined with a melody tells me I'm not alone with my thoughts, views, preferences and perceptions. The songs as one seemingly become the gatekeeper to my soul.

So who are the bands, the song writers, where do they come from? 
I'll start with The Go-Betweens a band that gave the world 9 albums with a sound known as 'The Striped Sunlight Sound' they were from Brisbane, near enough to the top in my collection.

Joyfully, I'll start with some lines from their songs that spurred me to greater heights. However, through the song melody and lyric I felt I wasn't alone, I was drawn in. I'll pick four titles (equal favourites of all they recorded). I'll share three or four other bands with songs that pierced my heart and repaired them with hope by the closing bar.

Here they are:

People Say - "The Job's you cannot hold, the stereo that you sold, You can't have milk and drink it to, Your Kitchen never had any food" ....1979.

 Living in Limbo a bit, just prior to settling into an 8 year job with AGC, fridge lacked food, moved on or left behind some stuff. If you listen to the song the closing lyric about going to Rome, inspired me to improve, I was inspired. The song still sticks.

Wrong Road- "Lucky at Cards, that's an old lie, Lucky in love, that's how life ends, Well the turncoats turned around, When they heard the sound of the Bell, Dropped their coins into the well, I took the Wrong Road round". ...1986..

Just short of moving to NNSW and the Gold Coast,I Iived up there for 11 years from 1988 to 1999. The move that changed my life, the song tells me find out who I am and take the Right Road, also was to be 10 years till I met Monica, my wife. My son Leon, was born in 1990.

Bit of a jump in time to this one.

Finding You- "What would you do if you turned around, And saw me beside you, Not in a dream but in a song, Would you float lie a phantom,  Or would you sing along, Don't know where I'm going Don't know where its flowing But I know it's Finding You" ....2005. 

It was a settling time, Finding You was about finding the one you want, I had, in dreams, in song and beside me.

Cattle & Cane- "Longer, Further, Higher"..1983  could not resist, keep aiming, childhood recalled. 

The next on the list is The Smiths, I've chosen 2 from them to share.

Reel Around The Fountain- "I dreamt about you last night, And I fell out of bed twice
You can pin and mount me like a butterfly, But take me to the haven of your bed

Was something that you never said, Two lumps, please, You're the bee's kneesBut so am I"...1984. 

Pretty much what we all do when we dream, oh you don't, but I did back then...This song told the story about desires, about being different but same.

There is a Light that never goes out- "And if a double-decker bus, Crashes into us, To die by your side Is such a heavenly way to die, And if a ten-ton truck, Kills the both of us, To die by your side Well, the pleasure - the privilege is mine"...1986 

The honour of knowing someone of the same ilk, background, same feelings, understood not underestimated. 

Joy Division/New Order drop in now, again so many of their songs that struck me from behind and there were plenty of those that came face to face with me.  But I'll narrow it to down to 3.

Here we go.

Love will tear us apart- Joy Division "You cry out in your sleep,
All my failings exposed, And there's a taste in my mouth, As desperation takes hold,Just that something so good just can't function no more,But love, love will tear us apart again"...1979 

When she knew it was over, when she did not know how good it could be, perhaps nor I...The song has everything melody, chorus, lyric that feeds a new romantic with emotions never forgotten, mostly despair, then survival. But the ride was worth it.

Temptation- New Order "Oh, you've got green eyes, Oh, you've got blue eyes, Oh, you've got grey eyes, Oh, you've got green eyes, Oh, you've got blue eyes Oh, you've got grey eyes
And I've never seen anyone quite like you before,No I've never met anyone quite like you before"... 1982 

Oh we all know when we met that someone, the lights went out around us, but we could not have been brighter.

True Faith-New Order "I used to think that the day would never come,
I'd see delight in the shade of the morning sun,
My morning sun is the drug that brings me near,
To the childhood I lost, replaced by fear"...1982....

Stuff about my father lingers in here, thoughts of him flicker past when I hear this song, it's about emerging from the shadows of doubt, reaching for my own expectations, the song is still a favourite, hackles go up. 

Now to The Cure. 

A Night Like This-  "I'm coming to find you if it takes me all night, A witch hunt for another girl, For always and ever is always for you, Your trust, The most gorgeously stupid thing I ever cut in the world" ..1985...

Searching is over, but wow, what torment and longing to find the one who you can sit on a bus, a train, a plane or a park bench with and say nothing but be free to touch a hand. Then you put it all in jeopardy. So you start again to find a way back.

A Forest- "I hear her voice, Calling my name, The sound is deep
In the dark, I hear her voice, And start to run, Into the trees, Into the trees"...1980...

The Chase, you know she knows, her voice is ever present in your head, you know if she hears you, you still stand a chance. It's the silence that haunts you the most. 

Just Like Heaven- "Show me, show me, show me how you do that trick,The one that makes me scream she said,
The one that makes me laugh she said,Threw her arms around my neck,Show me how you do it and I'll promise you
I'll promise that I'll run away with you, I'll run away with you"..1987.

The joy of being with the one you want, shared desire, shared adventure, sheer bliss.

Lucinda Williams has 2 songs from my catalogue that command space, the songs are provoking and dynamic, the first one speaks from a woman's view and the other shares sentiment about returning to somewhere that calls, either from childhood or just to reminisce.

Right on Time- "Not a day goes by I don't think about you,You left your mark on me it's permanent, a tattoo, Pierce the skin and the blood runs through, Oh my baby

The way you move it's right in time, The way you move it's right in time
It's right in time with me"...1998.

Lake Charles- "We used to drive,Through Lafayette and Baton Rouge, In a yellow Camino, Listening to Howling Wolf, He liked to stop in Lake Charles, Cause that's the place that he loved"....and the chorus that is a lullaby in itself. "Did an angel whisper in your ear, And hold you close and take away your fear, In those long last moments"...1998...

Well I love the Charles bit, to me the song is about returning to places that sparkle in my memory, the fun, the experiences, the adventure, the newness of being with someone you love.  

There is so much more to my collection, so it can be continued, but I also cannot ignore what lured me from the start.The Beatles, The Stones, The Who, The Kinks ,The Small Faces and yes the Monkees,quickly come to ear and mind. 

I will wind up these revelations with noting there are three singer song writers that I carry with me on my phone, my home, in my car and in my head that in essence reveal as much about me in terms of my life, past, present and maybe even with what's to come.

Sharing experiences, emotions whether trodden on or springing above the chandeliers, that I'd struggle to put in words little lone put into song. 

Here they are:

Grant McLennan.
All his solo albums are high on my charts, for me the 'Watershed' album stands out as my most played. Songs like 'Easy Come, Easy Go', 'Haven't I been a Fool', 'Stones for You' and 'When word gets Around' give me glow and space every time I play them.

From the double album 'Horsebreaker Star', 'Girl in a Beret', 'Put you Down' , 'All her Songs' and 'Keep my Word' remind me of my capacity to love and what attracts that love.  

Fireboy's 'Surround Me' rids me of bullies and the non trustworthy.

Sadly he passed away 6 May 2006, lives on at #39. 

 Morrissey likely enough said.
The album 'You are the Quarry' with songs 'First of the Gang', I'm not Sorry' and 'Irish Blood, English Heart' stir the soul and help me kick stones! 

'Ringleader of the Tormentors' gives 'In the Future when all's Well' and my current ring tone "You have Killed Me'

'Viva Hate' just brilliant, 'Everyday is Like Sunday' and 'Suedehead' and 'Margaret on the Guillotine' are mini anthems within themselves.   

Robert Forster
'Calling from a Country Phone', 'Danger in the Past', 'Warm Nights' are all brilliant albums.

Perhaps the most significant for me is 'The Evangelist'  the album he did after the passing of G.W. McLennan his co songwriter and revered Band Member of the Go Betweens. 

'Pandanus' could be a song about Seaford my home suburb, with the 'beach and gentle people there', to the haunting 'Ghost Town' a song in tribute to G.W.McLennan along with a standout called 'Demon Days' that was unfinished in part originated by the latter.

His latest album 'Songs to Play' with tracks 'A Poet Walks' and 'I'm so Happy for You' provide stirring moments to remind me of the joys of books and the people I love. 

As a side line Robert Forster is also a renowned writer, music critique with his latest book 'Grant & I' achieving world accolades, littered with Literary awards from the Arts and Music world.

So what's next? 

What about you?, what are your music flavors?, the songs that strike your heart, the songs that make you tap the steering wheel, or you turn to in time of need or just to kick back over dinner with. 

Songs or music you play when having Sunday morning at home or when it's raining or doing the vacuuming by or even cooking your favourite meal, I'd love to hear from you and your story behind the music you love.

This could be the start of some fun in exploring new music and some story telling that has no boundaries with where it could go. More on that later.

Enjoy your days,

Cheers 
Charles.