Realisation Hard to Swallow Part 4

                                                   Realisation

                                         Hard to Swallow Part 4 

I've looked at how animals and people carry drinks over the years and in some cultures a chain around the neck has been the way to go.

Those of a certain vintage would recall the 'King' Graham Kennedy (IMT days) starring in the now Australian classic film 'Don's Party'. If you check it out you'll see he has a chain around his neck with a beer stein attached.

Legend has it that St.Bernards carried wine and/or brandy in barrels around their necks to help warm victims of avalanches until help arrived, though that is more a myth.

In the maze of being in night clubs in past years I recall women having 'mardi gras' drink holders around their necks, very hard to get close to on a dance floor. Though the music that played where I was, was not cheek to cheek, that came after, they still might be available now. Anyway you get the picture.

So for two days every fortnight for a least the next 14 weeks I wear a bottle full of my cancer drugs that is connected to my chest portacath that pumps the 'cure' into my body. Great for going out shopping and day trips, I seem to always have space to move, people are so kind. Mine is for life.

Oh on the other day of the fortnightly ritual I sit in a very comfortable arm chair that lifts my feet and adjusts to my back at the touch of a button whilst my drug ordered regimen in a bag beside me pumps the first lot into me. Such glee. 

You're right. I'm cynical and I'm angry, the 'whiz' kids have told me 'oh Charles, this insideous disease has been in your body for months, many months maybe even for a year or more and your at Stage 4'.

How the hell do previous scans, xrays, pathology tests I've had over that time did not show any remnants or particles of the tumour that now riddle my liver that started in my oesophagus and likely elsewhere as we speak survive and prosper, though that is not confirmed or outruled for another six weeks when next PET Scans are done to see what the chemo has contained or shrunk.

Anyway it is what it is, Que Sera Sera.

So the fight is on in earnest now, cells jousting, side effects evident and likely to expand with further infusions. That's ok, I remain positive and I believe in the course I'm on will lead to a winning outcome of some sought. It's really early days with the chemo, body is in good shape and I've an army of support that in all honesty I'm staggered by and cherish..

Monica and I are working through a diet that allows me to swallow foods that are essential and some that I love that I can still handle in some form or another. You see I can't walk through a shopping centre and go wow I'm hungry I'll grab some sushi, some chinese, a pizza, a chicken whatever or a pita pocket salad roll because of the difficulty I have in swallowing. If I was to sit and try to eat any of those foods it would be a disaster.

So what is being positive about..? For starters it's about believing in yourself, trusting what your body can do and being a bit gentle on yourself, Planning things as you would normally do. December now is booked, Monica and I are taking Christmas to Christof at Colac we've got some great gifts for him and we'll take whatever it takes to ensure his comfort and joy (and ours).

My Collingwood membership arrived today with all the trimmings, so the fixture is on the fridge and games selected, all of them if I can. My mate Ross has Boxing Day tickets to the cricket ready for me and I really want to go, it's about how I'm traveling at the time, we'll find a way.

Music, well that's a constant, my son (Leon) and my friends share so much of what they play and have, it's never ending, aways exploring, ever tasting and challenging the boundaries where you find it.

One of my music loves is following the site Right Here:The Go Betweens Appreciation Society, such wonderful people on line that makes you believe there is hope in the world after all. Robert Forster is traveling the States, Great Britain and Europe just now gaining all the accolades he and the band have deserved and earned over now 40 years.

We are coming up to the weekend when 20 years ago my brother (Bob) past away, 1999, still fairly clear to me the occurrences of that weekend, I wrote a blog about him in March 2018, it's called  Bob Coy Lorne Artist 'Motion in the Ocean , Breeze in the Trees', you can find it easily at acoyview.blogspot.com worth a peek.

Yesterday my oncologist was happy with my demeanour, noted my positive outlook, we go to the next infusion 4 December so we get the body in shape and be ready for whatever side effects want to come at me.

Keep safe, enjoy the season, one of my brother's mates whom I'm lucky still to have in my life, who himself is a brilliant singer songwriter and guitarist/musician said these little prophecies to me the other day, they read:
'Keep your sense of Humour'
'Have no restrictions'
'Drop off the baggage'
'Drop Guilt'
'Don't be intimidated' and 'Do what you do and do it well'...

See you at Part 5 ...

Much Love
Charles...