Part 3 Hard to Swallow

                                                  My Current Health Part 3 

14 November 2019: Ok so Dr Benjamin Markman was not the 'white knight' I was hoping for, however on quizzing my son Leon on what a third or fourth in line to a white knight would look like, he said he seems like he is a Knight Errant.

There are a number of definitions you can place on a Knight Errant's head, I like the ones that liken him to a traveller, roaming the land doing brave things and helping people who are in trouble. Searching evil to slay, skillfull and adventureous.

In essence the story of the cancer and it's impact has not changed much, though this time it was mapped out when the chemo would start and how it was likely to be administered. The elephant in the room was time, Dr Benjamin responded with "Charles, I can tell you about averages and I can put you in that space, however right now we don't know what the long term effect of the treatment (chemo) is going to have on you, you create your own number".

I liked that, I said keep on searching Dr for your record and history shows you are up for reviewing clinical trials and seeing how they can be administered, so here I am, he smiled, maybe smirked, I continued my quizzing look.

Monica and I left the clinic with a wad of information about the side effects of the chemo that range in major and less major symptoms that in essence are too many to mention here.

Next Tuesday I have the 'portacath' fitted ready for the flow of fight again on Wednesday 20 November and Friday 22 November.

Yoga, Podcasts, Music, our Garden (Monica's really) and my army of family and friends push my spirits higher and provide strength to go at 'Carlton' with a positive mindset.

I love my food, but swallowing is difficult right now..

We are managing by building a diet that firstly, allows me to swallow with less difficulty, that carry all the nutrients and protiens I need with some variety.

I've moments where I forget to chew a piece of food 50 times or so and swallow and the oesophagus tail end jams up. You get a bit disorientated become anxious, stressed and sometimes panic a bit. So I bang my foot on the floor, swear a bit, try to swallow water or a little milk and finally once breathing is right the digest is completed. I'm keeping positive that the chemo blasts will reduce the tumour and clear the way for easier swallowing.

I'll work through the side effects and stand up and deal with those that linger, choice, I have none.

The weekend just gone Monica and I headed off to Seymour for the annual Rotary Club of Frankston getaway, it was fantastic to be among the friends/members enjoying fellowship, mateship and good fun.

Our cabin by the Goulburn River was cosy and warm as was every aspect of the weekend. Monica won the Backgammon in the cabin comp, led Yoga classes for the two mornings we were there with other yogies looking to have a great kick start to their day. It worked.

Our cat Shine, took a break staying with our neighbors eating poached chicken and occasionally crossing the road and sleeping at home. Thanks Jenny and Stefan.

This week the program commenced at Frankston Hospital in the Intergrated Care Centre, a three and a half hour session, briefing, testing, blood tests/counts and injections. The nurses are superb, knowledgable, experienced, caring and when necessary brutal. All grounds covered nothing left to chance.

The walk through the rooms saw people of all ages and sizes dealing with this insideous disease, they seem to take it on the chin, friendly, but with hidden anxiety knowing there are a million places they'd rather be. I wanted to be in the UK, Amsterdam or even back at the MCG or in a theatre somewhere or just home getting ready for a swim.

So next week looms huge with the treatment stepping up, in the meantime I've a years reading in all the booklets, printouts and instructions that are going to command my life for a while. So its study time, though this time its to study how to succeed through all this, remaining positive and valuing every moment added.

I question why and how did all this happen, there is no answer it just did, so I'll just fight it in every way I can.

Part 4 will reveal progress, I look forward to relating that and also having you join in on this journey so I can share the experience and off load in this forum, it helps so much.

I'm currently taken by lyrics to a song I've found through my favourite site (Right Here:The Go-Betweens Appreciation Society) one of our members noted a band called 'Theartre Royal' and a song called 'Incidental Friend'. The verse that got me follows:

'Ive stared in the eyes of the Beast
I've sailed round the edge of the world
I laid on my back on my bed
and dreamt of the places we'd go'

We'll talk some more soon.

Charles.