Blog #7 Hard/easier to Swallow)

Trepidation:

So the season of family get together's sharing Christmas cheer and presents plus the New Year intro into 2020 has come and gone and I've only busted 3 resolutions, how are you all going with yours..?

8 January 2020 marched up fairly quickly and my extra week off chemo was over and away we went (Tom my mentor and I ) to the Frankston Intergrated Cancer Care Unit to be infused.

One familiar face today a woman in her 50's with the 'uncle festa hair cut' was in for a short burst. She loves that I call her 'fess' if she didn't she's big enough to wallop me and I reckon I'd stay on the canvas. As she left she said I'm sorry I have to go before I watch you listen to your music, I hope to see her again, she was off to the movies to watch 'Cats'.

The Pharmacist was there today with the nurse and they looked a bit glum or worried about what they were going to tell me. They decided to continue with the chemo despite a higher toxicity level in my Liver.

However I've been on a course of antibiotics with a bug that rose my temperature to a nasty level but workman like over the next 24 hours reduced it back to normal. Plus a few wines and champagne to go with the season, that I may have to forgo for a while. So be it. We fathomed the Liver is awake and doing it's job so no fear there, the levels can change so quickly day to day.

What I can say is that my food intake is pretty much normal again as my throat tumour has lessened I suspect 'cause I couldn't eat much (apart from smoothies, soups, laksas, pearly noodles etc) before the chemo, winner. I still chew a bit more, never know when this beast strikes, for now the throat mongrel is on the canvas.

So the three hours odd travelled fairly quickly with the strange mix of 'new romantic music' which featured 'Echo and the Bunnymen' with songs called The Cutter and The Killing Moon to New Order  with Waiting for the Siren's Call even went to Kids in the Kitchen with Current Stand and Mi-Sex with People, sure a step back but they were great songs.

I was reading 'Tea and Scotch' by Roland Perry a fabulous insight into discovering the man behind the legend. Don Bradman, written so differently and searchingly which escapes the numbers of the great man and provides his inner thoughts at every challenge and there were plenty some weakened him and many more made him strong. A well credentialled author helped with interviews in his lounge and study.

Bradman's love of music to motivate, to calm after a day of centuries, doubles and the odd triple and to just chill is very evident in this book, he wrote his own compositiion 'Every Day is Rainbow Day for Me'. Fitting.

A cup of tea at 8.45 am and a scotch at 11.30, it put's me in the extra chair in the corner I return to it when I resume the book and I listen to them chatting, happy place.

So why is this blog titled Trepidation, well yes, it's the half way mark of 8 infusions which will tell the tale of progress or not, when the scan results from this Monday 13 January are revealed on Wednesday (15th) at my meeting with Dr Ben my oncologist.

Worrying is out, it doesn't help, do I go a bit dark on it, yes, that's where your light comes in so I push through that barrier and get on with my day, my sleep and my greeting to the morning, my friend.

With positive mind and will to mend, let's see how we are and if the 'Magpies' are in front at half time, no matter what we still have 4 infusions to go. The second half if you like.

I've been thinking about a song though that takes me to Monday and early this morning Mr Jimmy Buffet jumped into my head from where I don't know, but it did.

'Come Monday It'll be all right,
Come Monday I'll be holding you tight.
I spent four smokey days in the grey Seaford haze
And I just want you back by my side'

Hope 'Jimmy' doesn't mind a little lyric change.

Songs are jumping all around in my head just now and I can't stop them. 'Kiss My Name' by Antony and the Johnsons has come to my play list along with 'Cattle and Cane' by the Go-Betweens as the hackles and spark rise. The latter now featured in a French Film to come at the French Film Festival later this year, it's called 'Amanda' I'll see this and say you have your dream Grant (McLennan} you superstar and founding member of the Go-Betweens who left us in May 2006.    

I better stop here, we'll talk some more next week when some half way results are revealed.

Thank you for supporting my energy outlet with my story your support is amazing and I value it so much, I'm Ok your Ok.

Much Love
Charles...xxoo

NB; Congratulations Wayne & Sue on the arrival of your new Grandaughter so what's the song...?

Just now and this one goes back a bit, 'A little ray of Sunshine' by AXIOM (Glen Shorrock) loomed up quickly.

Enjoy.