Blog #8 - This one is a point of difference.

Finding Chemo - 50/50 Chance, like hard ball gets, like the odds.

Ok, last Wednesday 15 January has passed and frustration, anxiety, anger, fear and lashing out has now subsided. In parts it's residue remains but the leveller is what people, friends and family do around you.

A simple example sits with a Rotarian whom I know wants anoniminity and I'll honor that. After announcements at our meeting last Thursday, I had noted Monica's 3 week plan of donating all fees from her Yoga classes to Zoos Victoria Emergency Wildlife due to the devastation and pain that the fires have brought to our furry friends in the bush.. This person walked up to me and squeezed a substantial 'note' in my hand, this person has also had a most testing and dehabilitating time with cancer. A leveller alright.

Why was I angry, fearfull and the like ?

My oncologist said to Monica and I that the news from my Scans was not good, the liver tumors had progressed. So we became a bit numb. I know they have to be brutally honest with their diagnosis but when there are questions to be answered as to why this was the case a little more empathy in my eyes should be taken. To be told that one of the chemo drugs had not worked and now we are replacing it with a stronger one targeting my liver, why in the name of  ' you can fill in the blank' why wasn't this drug commenced with.

Anyway so be it, I've had 4 tornadoes infused this new one is a Tsunami, I'm building strength to go into it with gusto and positive thougts as I normally do.

So I take more positives from the halfway mark of this 'part' of my journey. They are that I can swallow all food types now and trust that continues plus knowing  the Cancer has not spread anywhere else at this time.

However I've requested and obtained a referral from my GP to seek a second opinion from Peter Mac Cancer Clinic. They've received my referral and a triage team are assessing my case in preparation for an appointment. I'm excited about that.

Eric Burdon and the Animals comes to mind. 'It's my life and I'll do what I want' could'nt help that.

What is 'Finding Chemo' about...?

Last Friday we went to the Aquarium in Seaford, we wanted to add a new gold fish for our outdoor pond, we have 11 we wanted a 12th.

We sought a 'shabunkin' we found him, his name is Chemo as in 'Finding Chemo' aka Nemo, as we have a new chemo this coming Wednesday.

And here he is:

For the record he has settled well the others follow him everywhere, leader of the pack...is that a lyric from somewhere in the past from a song..? Ah yes the Shangri-las I think.

I have to say Monica came up with the name, so credit due and noted.

So each morning we go 'Finding Chemo' in our pond, we know we'll find the right 'chemo' that will cease progress of this mongrel.

It's Sunday 19 January 2020, it's our wediing anniversary weekend our 12th one, we been together 24 years this year.

50/50 the same as my odds with the new treatment to come, like the odds, like the hardball gets, get enough you win.Whats the song/s to leave you with to search and listen to as a theme to this blog, if you don't already have it, here they are..

There are two, bit difficult for me to split, they are both from 'The Go-Betweens".

'Finding You' and The Core of the Flame' just beautifully crafted and poignant songs.

I'm Ok Your Ok, that's what counts.

Remember the Morning is your friend and look out for your neighbour.

Charles....see you again on the back of the coming days of infusion. xxoo.